Nucleya Cancels College Gig Because, “Table Not Strong Enough”

The electronic music sensation and India’s ambassador of “Bass Music”,  Nucleya has announced he will not be playing his bass heavy brand of music for the students of “That Random College (TRC)” this week since it has been found out that his mixer and controllers had all been precariously perched on a regular plywood table.

Nucleya who has been successfully touring India and the world dishing out helpings of bass from the tops of tables to 17 year olds everywhere was seen walking out of TRC in a strop arguing with his new manager. We overheard him saying, “Tej would have sorted me out with a bigger/stronger table”

Our sources at TRC claim that when Nucleya walked on to the arena sized stage but saw only a 10ft by 10ft plywood table, immediately walked out, shaking his head and shouting, “Ply will not fly”.

The Nascent Scene got in touch with the events coordinator, Hitesh Gaikwad at TRC who said, “What to do? We are just an engineering college. We spent all the money we had on a moving Rani head and building a stage fit for Wembley. When we got to the table, we realised we just didn’t have enough left so we had to improvise”

They went on to mention, “Nucleya has played on some of the best tables in the world and we should have known better than to skimp on the essentials when it comes to a banging bass heavy set. A strong, large, heavy table is essential to perfect mixing and beat-matching. There could have been riots in the audience if Nucleya finished a set without climbing on to his equipment.”

Nucleya was unavailable to comment, replying only by text message. Saying, “Talk to Tej”.

Tej was in California on the second leg of his “World Burrito Tour” so we could not get him to comment.

We did however manage to get his current management to give us a statement. Over the phone, someone who chose to just go by the name of OML told us, “What do you expect? Here we are giving a DJ who has played on some of the best tables in the world to some engineering students who don’t know the difference between Skrillex and Daler Mehndi, how do they expect him to stand on such a mediocre table top that has been made by a kabaad-waalah. Would you ask Mark Knopfler to play a Givson guitar from Lokhandwala? Then how can you assume Nucleya will stand on this weak-ass shit”

The audience of around 7,00,000 college students that had gathered to hear Skrillex remixes of nursery rhymes were divided in their opinion. With some saying, “it’s just a table yaar, go ahead and play the set, you don’t have to climb everything you see” and others saying, “It’s just not Nucleya if he doesn’t stand on the table and click a selfie with ALL of us… and that is not something we are interested in seeing. If that’s the kind of bass music we wanted,
we would go see a KRUNK show instead.”

 

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9 comments

    • Hi Rishabh,

      Thanks so much for your valuable feedback. I think we should give our readers some credit. I don’t know if they would assume a college actually existed by the name of, “That Random College (TRC)”

      Like

  1. yet table dancing idiocy is a global trend with popular DJs. Nucleya doing this jingo act is just another treadmill charade. after all, most people see music and dont really listen …
    maybe the future is about sound and not some carabet/tronica that exists now. Duh !!

    Like

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